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ETHEREAL PETRICHOR

A conflict between thoughts and imaginations

I FAIL

I feel weak as a student
I feel weak as a sister
I feel weak as a friend

I feel weak as a daughter
I feel weak as a motivator
I feel weak as a fool
I feel weak as in a family

I feel weak as an individual
I feel weak as an apprentice
I feel weak as an achiever
I feel weak as an approach
I feel weak as an influence
I feel weak as myself
I feel weak as a character altogether

I feel weak because I am made one
Reason that I never tried anything strong

I am weak because my strength never over came my weakness

I am weak because I am rejoined with pieces which were broken once

I am weak because I am appealed with false promises

I am weak because I shattered each time when a promise was broken

I am weak because my successes caused me failures

I am weak because I was led by far anticipations

I am weak because I was never given a chance to prove myself

I am weak because my teary eyes can’t​ see any further

I am weak because my heart ​feels heavy; it can’t bear more pains

I am weak because my hands fear to approach the right place

I am weak because my steps lead me to distrust and enmity

I am weak because no one ever broke the bridge of fabricated lies

I am weak because my thoughts wander into unnecessary places ;
Unguided by love or confidence

I am weak because the tide of time left me alone on an isolated beach

I am weak because no one ever worked on my capabilities

I am weak because these arms never held anyone so tightly that all of the pains were fo

I am weak because I was never just to myself

I WISH I HAD TITLED

It happened earlier
Well before I started understanding
Well before I knew the definition of confession
I went ahead along the way
The way that took me along with it
It never did stop
Nor did I ever thought it would
It never did.
I went into it-deep
Never knowing what I was searching for
I never even realised I was 11
-Young still
Still oblivious of almost everything
Still oblivious of how trees shed their leaves
Or how eyes make an unspoken conversation.
I followed my heart –
My brain didn’t work well.
I stood at that door,
Alone inside stood a figure
I stood at the door
Gazed a while
Something was feeling heavy inside
I turned back and went away.
Be it mind’s creative imagination
Or the symmetry of balancing
Or the inconsistency in thoughts
They now stand stiff on a pedestal of unfortunates
I failed to be an architecture of my own story
The story that could have had a different slope
May be because I forgot my soliloquy
The heavy torrent doesn’t fall now
Nor do the rains obey my secret wishes
I am-
I am left in solitary confinement
The feathers of hope now melt
Shattered in all directions
My aspirations face an invalidation.
It was heavy before , and is no less now
It was a thicket before,now a forest
It was about thickness earlier,now it’s distance
It was on display earlier,now it sells
It was affinity earlier
Now it’s all disjoint
Everything is allege
The smell called me often
But I was never allured.
After being ambidextrous to that figure
And to my intentions
I become an anathema to myself
I wish I did more than –
That unspoken conversation

I FORGOT TO TITLE

Upon the serene, gloomy sky
And,
The abysmal depths of the ocean
Shall I ever accede or keep myself –
Watching and waiting.
Or is the colossal acerbity filling in me-
In complete acuity ?
Or is my own  ignorance penetrating within me?
May the last judgement again be there:
The redemption of me from myself.
May my aegis protect me –
From great afflictions and distress.
And I be ambivalent of my own,
Offering an amnesty from my own thoughts
That had long sunk into the sea of blemishes.
The cadence at the brim;
The cadence of the cascades,
Convene,divulging efficacy

And I be silent because…

I feel to be one

‘TITLE’ SERIES

Hey friends.

Here’s my series- of poems!!!

‘TITLE’ – a collection of 7 poems that tells a beautiful  story!!

The series would be finally published on 13th May 2017

1)    I forgot to title  

      https://padmajachavansite.wordpress.com/2017/05/04/i-forgot-to-title/

2)    I wish I had titled

https://padmajachavansite.wordpress.com/2017/05/09/i-wish-i-had-titled/

3)    I titled it finally

4)    My title suffers incompleteness

5)    Why do I title when its glimpse hurts

6)    It doesn’t yield now 

7)    I would still strongly wait for the rain

 

A YEARNING HOPE…

The promises of the past need a completion

How much have I cultured the knack of procrastination

Little do I now remember the pristine touch

Of the petite promise I earlier had made

For long had they stayed in the desire of fulfillment

And those today, live in dreadful failures of the past

And some do die in the hopes of desires

Every single day

Nevertheless, oblivious of things those which seem easy

Rather ascertained to be the toughest

I lived in a mere hope of an aid

Never could I get one

Still do I live in hope of some

Lost in hope of some hopes

Those which left for me none

And I still live in hope of hopes

And which when deceased; left me hopeless…

AND THE DARKNESS FELL…

Unveiling the darkness over the concealed confessions

Those which struggle inside panicked resolutions

And through a way in silence

Do they head towards abeyance?

Not that they are provisionally ceased

But permanently have abjured.

The dainty of their youth

Amplified by fanaticism

And debacle of their adage

Embellished by scarlet flamboyance

Was it their fault or failure?

Had they submitted or are already lost

Or was it the last forlorn attempt

Or did the course deviate

Or did the Zephyr cool the lake?

Not so well versed with the laws of world

Crossed had they the pond; thinks but the lake

The withered arms of confession

Wince while in thoughts

They genuflect before self-esteem…

REGRET OF THE PASSED YOUTH

The bridge hinged a sense of responsibility to loyalty

And I was wedged, underneath me was the sea of distrust

And the sky exposed all of my wrecked promises

And the place where I mounted,

Warm, innocuous and it stood at the pinnacle of love

On an epitome of trust and belief –

I was standing on

Should I spring ahead in fear, I sink into an ignoble sea of distrust

Shall I stare the azure sky -?

Would it shame me with the promises I hadn’t kept

Of someone; in arms I of whom stand right now

And that his broken heart beats viciously

And I feel the panting of his body

Broken promises never do mend

But broken hearts do break again…

DALLIANCE

In an expanse for a long time

Long enough to become a substance

The earth had turned into smelted ocean

And that every single existing thing ended

And I spring savagely

And that offered me a

Credibility to an idea

And that anxiety kept me abbreviated

And lest drew me to him

Terror enthused my cohesion

And care glued our ties of heart

And I fondled before I thought

And that my passions tilted

My deliberations

But certainly not could they obligate

My heart was opulent in feelings afore

It became proficient to stuffs that came later

SUSPIRE

You can’t have the best of both worlds

And, unfortunately, I had to choose one

Growing apart in a different world of fantasy

Where the pleasures of youth play heavy

And I simply be the victim of my own deeds

And I still be better…

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